The Thermostat Police
by slbsp-33
Summary: There is an Arctic blast of freezing temperatures hitting NYC. See how Santana and Brittany handle PMS and no heat.


_**A/N - Hey guys sorry I haven't updated my fanfics in quite awhile. Between the holidays and work being hectic I kind of had writer's block. I think I'm coming out of it finally.**_

_**Where we live it's freezing cold and have had lots of snow so it inspired me to me write this one shot. If anyone has to live with a woman who has PMS you will know what I'm talking about in this story. Hope you enjoy it. Please review. Thanks for reading.**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters Santana and Brittany.

"Britt, what the hell your hands are freezing cold!" Santana whined because she was shaken out of a sound sleep when she felt Brittany's freezing hands on her stomach. Santana was trying to push Brittany's hands out from under her shirt because they were so cold they were making Santana break out in goose bumps.

"I'm cold and your body is soooo warm." Brittany whined right back as she continued to fight with Santana to put her hands underneath Santana's shirt.

"Stop it Britt! If you're that cold get up and put on something warmer to wear. It's not my fault you chose to wear shorts and a tank top to bed when it's winter. Not to mention we are in the middle of one of the coldest air masses to hit NYC in twenty years. You do realize right now it's -15 degrees with a wind chill of -30 degrees." Santana had finally won the battle to stop Brittany's wandering cold hands. She wrapped herself up in the blanket and quilt so she in her own little cocoon.

Brittany huffed when Santana pulled the blanket and quilt away from her. She had enough to cover herself up but not enough to make her own cocoon like Santana. "San, stop hogging the blankets! You shouldn't be cold with the way you are a dressed. I swear you think you are sleeping outside in a tent. You've got on flannel slept bottoms, wool socks, and a long sleeved thermal shirt." Brittany sat up in bed and pouted. "My nose is even freezing cold!" Santana ignored Brittany which really upset her.

Brittany got out of bed and decided to turn the heat up. After all they both had good jobs and could afford to turn the heat up when it feels like they are living in the Arctic. Brittany felt the coldness in their house as soon as she got out of bed. She practically ran down the hallway to the upstairs thermostat. She turned it up to 75 degrees she didn't care if she would be in trouble with the thermostat police, aka Santana.

After turning the thermostat up she ran back to the bedroom and jumped in bed under the covers which didn't go unnoticed by Santana. "Britt, I just got back to sleep. Why are you jumping around?"

"I was getting back in bed." Brittany pulled the blanket and quilt around her body the best she could.

There was silence for a several moments. "Um...Britt, why were you out of bed?"

"I just went to the bathroom and then decided to go downstairs to the kitchen to get a bottle of water just in case I get thirsty in the night." Brittany said it really quickly hoping Santana believed her.

"It's funny I didn't hear the toilet flush. Santana's voice sounded like she was suspicious.

"You said you had fallen back to sleep so you wouldn't have heard it." Brittany was thinking she was in the clear about turning the thermostat up at for now because Santana was sure to notice how much warmer the bedroom was once it warmed up. Then Brittany would be busted.

A few more minutes of silence passed before Santana spoke again. "You know I'm kind of thirsty. Let me have a drink of your water." Santana sat up as best she could because she was still wrapped in her cocoon.

"I'd rather not have you drink out of my water bottle because you are having PMS and I don't want to catch it." Brittany stated hoping Santana would drop it about wanting a drink of water.

Santana stared at her wife with a scowl on her face. "Cut the crap you know PMS isn't contagious and who said I have PMS anyway."

"Only everyone in your life knows, no I bet everyone in the country knows you have PMS right now. I bet the military has sent out warnings to all citizens of the United States warning them to be on the alert because Santana Lopez of NYC will be going through PMS for the next three days." Brittany couldn't help laugh when she was finished.

"Not. Funny. Brittany! I can't help that I have PMS and besides I'm not that bad when I'm going through it." Santana continued to stare at her wife.

"Not that bad?! You forget who you are talking to. I have put up with this for the past 10 years since were fourteen years old. You have mood swings and you get angry with everyone including me which usually doesn't happen. You get all sad and weepy sometimes. You withdraw into yourself and your sex drive ceases to exist at all." Brittany laid there with her eyes closed. "Oh, and one other thing you scowl more than usual just like you are doing right now."

Santana's scowl turned into a full on pout now. "If I'm so horrible to be around for those three days I'll move into the guest room and not come out until my PMS is gone. Or better yet once a month I'll go to a hotel and stay. You don't realize how I feel. (Santana starts to get weepy) My lower back hurts and sometimes I get a headache. The twins are sensitive and hurt. I just feel awful and I'm sorry that I'm such a burden to you and apparently to the whole damn country according to you." Santana was no longer looking at Brittany. She was looking down at the bed. A few stray tears fell down her cheeks.

Brittany felt bad that she upset Santana so she sat up in bed beside her and put her arm around Santana's shoulders. "I'm sorry baby. I know it's not picnic for you but the gynecologist did say if you went on..."

"I am not taking birth control pills to help my PMS. Those pills aren't good for your body." Santana was still pouting.

"Ok, I understand. How about we lay back down and cuddle. I'll rub your lower back for you. Besides I'm still freezing even after turning the..." Brittany stopped talking realizing what she was about to say.

Santana's pout was gone as she looked at her Brittany. "You what? You turned the heat up didn't you? You lied about going to the bathroom and getting a bottle of water. Britt, turning the heat up will make our bill go up and you know we are on a budget. This is our first winter in our new house and when we bought this place six months ago we both agreed the thermostat upstairs during the winter would stay at 60 degrees because we could just had another blanket to the bed if we got cold. Instead of turning the thermostat up why didn't you just put on some warmer sleep clothes and some socks?"

Brittany shrugged her shoulders. " I don't like being all restricted by long sleep pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, and socks when I sleep. My body needs to be able to breathe when I sleep. Besides like you said it's -15 outside I think we should turn the thermostat up when it's that cold. My name is on the deed to this house too so I have a say and tonight the thermostat is staying on 75."

"75! You turned the thermostat up to 75!? Turning it to 65 would've been high enough." Santana tried to free herself from her cocoon of the blanket and quilt. When she finally got free and started to get out of bed she didn't realize her foot wasn't completely free and she fell to the floor.

Brittany first reaction was to laugh but she knew Santana wasn't in the mood. If Santana wasn't experiencing PMS she would most definitely laugh at herself for falling. "You ok San?"

Santana mumble some Spanish words under her breath that Brittany understood and they weren't good words. Santana got up from the floor and walked out of the bedroom to the thermostat. While Santana was gone Brittany took the opportunity to steal most of the blanket and quilt from Santana's side of the bed.

A few minutes later Santana walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed on Brittany's side. Brittany felt the bed dip behind her so she waited for Santana to start lecturing her some more about turning the thermostat up to 75 but when no lecture came after a few minutes she knew there was something else on Santana's mind. Brittany turned over on her back and looked up at Santana who was just sitting on the edge of the staring straight ahead.

Brittany put her hand on Santana's back. "You ok San?"

Santana shook her head no. "I'm a failure. I can't even take care of my family." Santana sounded all weepy again. Damn PMS.

Brittany had no idea why Santana was saying she was a failure. "Sweetie, I'm confused. How did a walk to the thermostat turn into feeling you are a failure to your family?"

"Our kids would freeze to death because of me." Santana said sadly.

Brittany was really confused now. "Our kids would freeze?"

"Yeah, the reason it's so cold is the heat isn't working. When I saw the thermostat up here wasn't working I went downstairs to check that one and it isn't working either. There's no heat at all. Our kids would freeze because I didn't get up and check thermostat when you said you were freezing cold. I'm an awful parent." Santana's emotions were really getting the best of her and Brittany felt so sorry for her.

Brittany leaned in and kissed Santana on the back of the neck. "Oh baby you are going to be a wonderful parent when we have kids. I know you wouldn't let them freeze. I'm going to go get that portable electric heater we used to use in our apartment and plug it in here so our bedroom will be warmer. Then I'm going to get the heating pad so you can put it on your aching lower back. After you are all comfy I'm going to call the plumbing and heating service we used when we had the new pipes installed in the house when we moved in. They have a 24 hour emergency service."

"But Britt it's 3 AM and if they come out for an emergency service they are going to charge us double the normal rate and..." Santana was interrupted by Brittany.

"Think about our freezing future kids, would you want them to have to wait until morning for heat because their mother was too worried about the cost of a getting it fixed?" Brittany knew she was playing with Santana's emotions but she wanted the heat fixed as soon as possible no matter the cost.

"You're right call the heating repair guy now. I bet with this cold weather they are swamped with calls from people with no heat so the sooner we call the sooner we get on their list." Santana got up from bed with Brittany followed close behind.

Brittany started leave the bedroom to get the portable heater when Santana grabbed her hand to hold her back. Santana pulled Brittany into a hug and kissed her gently on the lips. "Thank you for putting up with me and my thermostat rule, not to mention my PMS and crazy budget. Also, for being the smart, logical one when I start being so irrational."

Brittany smiled as she leaned her forehead on Santana's. "I love you so much. Your thermostat rule isn't crazy and neither is the way you budget our money. I know you want what is best for our family. You are only preparing us for the time when we start having kids. I love how you call me your family and take care of me." Brittany kissed Santana sweetly before going to the attic to get the electric heater.

When Brittany returned with the electric heater she was surprised to hear Santana on her phone. Brittany plugged the heater in and turned it on high. She then got the heating pad out of the dresser drawer and plugged it in for Santana. Brittany decided she'd better put on something warmer to sleep in so she got out her flannel pajama bottoms, put on a long sleeve t-shirt, and last but least some sock. They weren't wool like Santana's but they'd keep her feet warm. When she turned around after finishing changing her sleep clothes she saw Santana sitting on the bed staring at her. Brittany smiled.

Santana loved watching Brittany change her clothes. "Um...I called the heating guy he said it probably will be 6 AM or later before he can get here because like I thought they do have a lot of calls from other people with no heat. He said someone would call when they are on their way to our house."

Brittany got into bed and laid down under the covers while Santana was still sitting on the bed not moving. "Honey, get under the covers where it's warm. Can you feel the heat from the electric heater?"

"Yeah I can feel it. I'm still thirsty. I'm going to get downstairs and get a bottle water. I'll get one for you too." Santana said before starting to get up off the bed.

"You stay here and put the heating pad on your back. I'll go get the water." Brittany kissed Santana's forehead and got out of bed.

Santana fixed her pillows so they would support her back and then she put the heating pad on her lower back before leaning back on the pillows. The heat felt so good. She pulled the covers up over her body and closed her eyes. Brittany was gone so long Santana started to drift off to sleep. Hearing Brittany's voice brought her out of sleep. "What did you say Britt?"

"I said here is a hot drink for my hot wife." Brittany handed Santana a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top. "Thanks sweetie. I wondered what was taking you so long." Santana took a drink and felt the warmth of the hot chocolate throughout her body.

"Baby, you've got a little whipped cream on your upper lip." Brittany pointed out.

Santana ran her tongue over her top lip. "Did I get it?"

Brittany shook her head no. "Here let me help." Brittany leaned in and licked the whipped cream from Santana's top lip. She then kissed Santana passionately and deeply before pulling away. "Your sex drive really ceases to exist when you have PMS doesn't it? I can tell by the way you kiss me back."

Santana hung her head. "I'm sorry Britt. I don't ever want you to feel unloved by me." A single tear ran down Santana's right cheek.

Brittany put her hot chocolate on the nightstand and then took Santana's cup from her and put it on the nightstand too. "Look a me baby. (Santana looked at Brittany) I have never felt unloved by you. I was only kidding with you and I'm sorry because I know your PMS is nothing to kid about. Besides in four days when your period starts I'm the one who will be reaping the benefits of it."

Santana smiled and sniffled her tears away. "I know it's crazy when I have PMS I have no sex drive and when my period starts all I want to do is make love to my gorgeous wife day and night."

"This is selfish I know but I love the way you focus just on me and want to make love to me all of the time during your period. It's just difficult for me not being able to do the same for you during that time." Brittany laid her head Santana's chest.

"How about we try and get some sleep before the heating guy gets here to repair the heat?" Santana continued to lay on her back with the heating pad.

Brittany pulled the covers up over both them until they were under their chins. "I love you Santana."

"I love you too Britt."

THE END


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